So You're Engaged—Now What?!
Real Talk Wedding Planning Advice From Your Photographer Friend
Hey friends!
First of all—congratulations!! Whether you just got engaged or you’ve been soaking in the moment for a while, I hope you're taking some time to celebrate your love and this new chapter. It's a big deal, and you deserve all the bubbly, all the happy tears, and all the cake (practice makes perfect, right? 😉).
As a wedding photographer who’s been lucky enough to witness a whole bunch of “best days ever,” I wanted to share some advice that goes beyond checklists and Pinterest boards. Wedding planning can feel like a full-time job (on top of your actual full-time job), so here’s a little love letter and some real talk to help you breathe easier and focus on what really matters.
1. Set the Mood Before the To-Do List
Before jumping into the whirlwind of venues and vendors, take a quiet moment with your partner and ask:
“What do we want this day to feel like?”
Do you want cozy and intimate or wild and joyful? Do you want a weekend away with 40 of your favorite people or a backyard BBQ where everyone brings pie? There’s no wrong answer. When you start with the vibe, your decisions naturally align with your values—and planning becomes way less overwhelming.
2. Prioritize What Matters Most (And Let Go of the Rest)
Here's a little secret: you don’t have to do everything.
Not into first dances? Skip it. Hate being the center of attention? Opt for a small ceremony.
Make a list of the top 3 things that matter most to you both—maybe it’s killer food, live music, and great photos. Build your budget and your energy around those. Everything else? Bonus points.
3. Be Intentional With Your Vendor Team
Your vendors are more than just service providers—they’re the people you’ll spend your whole day with. Find folks whose vibe matches yours and who truly see you.
Especially your photographer 😉 (hi, it's me!)—you want someone who feels like a friend, not a stranger pointing a camera in your face. Ask questions, share your story, and see how they respond. You deserve a team that’s genuinely excited to celebrate you.
4. Leave Space for Magic
Seriously—not everything needs to be scheduled down to the minute.
Some of the most beautiful, emotional, and hilarious moments happen in the in-between: the quiet before the ceremony, the wind catching your veil just right, your grandma pulling you onto the dance floor during “Shout.”
Build buffer time into your timeline, and trust your team to guide the flow. You’ll be amazed at what unfolds when you’re not rushing to the next thing.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything
Joy, stress, excitement, anxiety—it’s all part of the ride. Planning a wedding is emotional because it means something. So take breaks when you need to. Say no when something doesn’t feel right. Ask for help. Cry happy tears and maybe a few stressed-out ones, too.
And remember: your wedding is not a performance. It’s a love story—and it’s yours to tell.
Final Thoughts From a Friend Behind the Lens
At the end of the day, the best weddings I’ve been part of weren’t “perfect.” They were real. Messy. Joyful. Full of love and laughter and weird little surprises.
Your day will be its own kind of magic—not because everything went off without a hitch, but because you showed up as yourselves and let love lead the way.
I can’t wait to hear about your plans, your ideas, your quirks, and your “just for us” moments. If you’re looking for a photographer who’ll cheer you on, help you feel at ease, and capture your day as it really felt—I’m here. Let’s make some magic.
With love,
Jessica + Madeleine
🌿 Fern Hollow Weddings
